Boating In The


  by Bonzai Yak

  112 pages

Chapter 7: Territory Expeditions (part f)


We've returned to the Territory time and again on further expeditions. We found more traces and artifacts of the Lost Expedition, some that belonged to particular members and others that seemed to be part of the group as a whole. The various intertwined paths that we found finally led us to a secret Archives the Lost Expedition sealed away when they first began to realize they were falling asleep and would soon disappear. Wonderful things were stored in this place, all the work that the group undertook: books and boats and essences, dances, songs and remedies, stones and lamps and stories galore - all of the lore of the Lost Expedition - more than we'd ever imagined. That's where we first found the circle of seats they sat in together whenever they'd meet. And the more we explored the Archives we'd found, the more we began to remember ourselves in much the same way that the Lost Expedition began to forget. And little by little, slowly at first and then all at once like a wave reaching shore, I suddenly knew without any doubt that I was one of the members of the Lost Expedition myself!

This was a truly astounding discovery. All that time in the Territory trying to find the Lost Expedition, I'd really been trying to find myself, following a path I had travelled before and had since forgotten. I'd forgotten so much! All of us had, all the members of the Lost Expedition had forgotten our talents and abilities, forgotten the intent of the group as a whole and just wandered away all alone. How sad! And hopeful! Once one can remember then two can too, or three or four, then more and more until all have returned to remember together the things we all knew before.

It must've been those seeds we'd planted, they'd come out and sprouted without me knowing just what I was growing into. Everything in the Territory, all the parts of the story we'd followed, it all contained the story of me, of how I could be if I wanted to grow into something more than I already was. Quite a surprise. All of the mapmakers' maps I was holding told a completely different tale. The way they tell it you build yourself up, you gather together the tools you need and you study and plan and learn from others the way you should be to finally achieve your final self. This higher you of a higher degree is only allowed if you follow a map that's been made by a group or a hierarchy.

But actually that's not how it is. If you want to be on a higher level, if you want to find your own true self and consciously see from your own true shape, there is nothing you need to acquire. You don't construct this higher self, there's nothing to learn and there's nothing to make, you don't need to add something new to your shape, your shape is already perfectly formed. Your own true self has always been there doing the things it's meant to do in its own particular way. The only thing is, your everyday self has forgotten the way that yourself really is. It tries to build up what it can't comprehend using all of the everyday things it commands in its everyday way.

If you decide to see and be something more than this, if you want to act from this higher level where your own true self resides, you have to let go of this need to acquire, you have to untangle yourself from desires that lead you to build up yourself like an empire. Forget all these little things mapmakers do and try to remember the one big thing you've always known. Remember yourself as you already are, there's nothing to change but your point of view.

Your own true self is at the very heart of the Lost Expedition story. That's the joy you begin to enjoy when you remember that you are a member of the Lost Expedition yourself. Now don't get we wrong, I'm not really saying that you should believe that this might be true. But I am telling you that if you act as if you believe that it is you'll find yourself closer continually to this true self you know you already are. And the best thing about this story I'm telling, you don't just sit back and think how it is. You can actually go out in the Territory and be with your own true self first hand. To follow the path that your own true self travels, to handle the form that your empty self wants to bring into being, it's a truly intimate thing to do, an active thing that your body can know as well as your heart and your mind. Remember that fourth seed we found that day as we followed the path of the dropping away of the Lost Expedition, the wasp nest one? Soon after I knew I was one of them too, I knew that seed was me. I found it myself and planted it in the ground. The feeling of holding myself in my hands, so strong yet fragile and vulnerable, was something I'm glad that my body knows as well as my heart and mind.

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